Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Romeo and Juliet Act II: question 3
3. Just before their marriage, Juliet tells Romeo that people should not show love through fancy language but through actions. Describe what you think this means. What observations have you made in your life, literature, media, movies, etc. where people do this or do not do this successfully? (please do not be specific with names or personal stories that may embarass someone) Due Friday 2/26/10 by midnight.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
28 comments:
I think this means that if you love someone it’s not just what you say but it’s what you do. You can say I love you or whatever until you turn blue in the face, but if you don’t back it up with physical movements your saying nothing. If you do something wrong you can’t just get off the hook by saying sorry. Actions always speak loader then words. My grandparents have been married for 53 years I have never once heard them say to each other I love you. They are just so comfortable with each other that saying that doesn’t have any real meaning compared to just being together for 53 years.
I think that not showing love through fancy language but through actions means that you are actually showing your love and not just saying you love. Anyone can say something, but actually doing it and proving it is a bigger step and shows a bigger commitment. Actions speak louder than words and I can understand how Juliet would want him to show he loves her rather than say he loves her, especially since they just met. If I was Juliet I would feel a bit skeptical on how much Romeo actually loves me. Media and Movies portray people having to show their love and prove their love. In the song “that don’t impress me much” by Shania Twain, she says that you may look like Brad Pitt, or drive a nice car, but that doesn’t impress me. It is how you’re going to take care of me that is going to impress me. Now especially being a teenage girl, I have seen that there are a lot of boys that will try to smooth talk their way into something or feed you lines to try and get something out of you. The only reassurance there is that they actually like you is if they show you. Anyone can tell you that you’re pretty or that they like you. The best advice my dad ever gave me about falling in love is “When you think you really like a boy, don’t pay attention to anything he says, only pay attention to what he does.” I think this is definitely true with Juliet. It has become clear that being ostentatious is not going to win her over.
My perspective on the meaning of this is simple. You can say all the fancy words in the world, but if they don’t shine through actions, they mean nothing. In life, this situation arises frequently. Some people might try to show their love for another through words but shyness strikes them when it comes to express it with actions. Or maybe they just speak the words but not the actions because they actually don’t love them. Words only go so far until some action needs to take place before the love fizzes out. Juliet tells Romeo this because she feels he’s all talk. I believe that she doesn’t want hers and Romeo’s to end up like her parents. She wants their love to live forever. You also don’t want to express all your love in the beginning of the relationship. Some believe if you use all the passion up; there won’t be any left for a lifetime. Love needs to grow between two people. True love is not shown through fancy words; it’s presented through critical times, such as sickness or sorrow. Showing you care for the person through actions is the real expression of love.
I think that what Juliet meant by that comment was that sure a guy can flatter a girl and make her fall in love with her just with all his fancy talk, but if it’s all talk and nothing happens how would Juliet really know if he cares about her or not? A lot of guys can be smooth talkers and get a girl but Juliet doesn’t want that. I think she wants Romeo to SHOW her he loves her and not just dress it up with fancy words. I agree with her on that. I personally don’t want to marry a guy if all he ever does is just say I’m pretty and he’s so madly in love. I think most girls would want a guy who displays his affection for her. And displaying affection is not just buying gifts all the time but it’s just everyday things like a hug or a kiss or even like staying with them when they are scared or something. And I do have to say that there are examples of both smooth talking and showing love all over the media right now. For example I just watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past last night and the main actor Connor Meade was a very smooth talker. He could get pretty much any girl he wanted just by talking fancy words to her. I think he would be a lot like a more modern day Romeo. Another example of doing nice things and showing your love would be also buying people flowers or chocolates or something. And I think that a lot of people now days do display their affection rather than just sweet talking.
I believe Juliet wants Romeo to back up his talk and show her truly that he loves her. It could just be the way he acts around her, what he would do for her, how far he would go. Juliet just wants physical reassurance to confirm how strong their love is. She is very smart for her age and doesn’t want to make any stupid mistakes without proof that it’s worth it. “Put our money where your mouth is”, for lack of a better phrase.
When Juliet says that love is not shown through fancy words, it is shown through actions; I think she is 100% correct. What good is saying that you love someone if you don’t act like it? You can say “I love you.” a hundred times but the person of your affection will not believe you unless you show it. Words are simply word and must be supported by actions or else they are meaningless. People in our society often use the word “love” out of context. Many people use the word “love” to show a strong liking for something but in turn it renders the word “love” meaningless. If I love that movie and I love you, aren’t I saying that you are on the same level as the movie? Young people are especially keen on telling each other they love each other when they do not. False love is a source of a lot of pain in our society and I feel that if people thought about their words before they speak them, there would be a lot less pain and confusion.
Romeo continually expresses his love for Juliet verbally. "With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt. Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me." is a perfect example of this. Romeo is saying that his love for Juliet will drive him to do anything. However, this is not enough for Juliet. Juliet wants to be loved through actions rather than words. It is much easier to lie through words rather than actions, and Juliet realizes this. Do Romeo's loving words for Juliet really mean anything if he does not practice what he preaches? Juliet wants to be reassured of Romeo's love through his caring and loving actions rather than his words. People often carry out actions that contradict what they continually say. A prime example of this would be domestic violence. Often times a person is told that they are loved for and cared for by their partner, but are then later physically and emotionally abused by the same person. I think that is very important to back up your words with your actions to really prove you mean what you say, and Juliet obviously does as well.
Showing you love someone through your actions is way more meaningful than using cliché language in love. Telling someone that you love him or her is nice to hear every now and then, but if you don’t act like you’re in love, the meaning of that phrase is useless. This kind of made me think of how when little kids tell other little kids that they’re in love with each other. Little kids don’t quite know what romantic love is yet, so saying “I love you” is hollow. I think that there are some cases where two people don’t say that they love each other, but you can just tell they are by their actions that they’re deeply in love. I agree with Juliet’s statement to show Romeo’s love to her through his actions, not his fancy language.
Juliet wants Romeo to start showing her he likes her by his actions and not just his fancy words. I think Juliet wants them to be past the relationship stage when you express more through words. She doesn’t want him to flirt with her rather show love by actions. Weather this is a kiss, hug, or polite favor in a chore or something in her life, Juliet wants Romeo to take this seriously and express their love. This can be hard to understand considering they have only been together for a day or two. But, if they have real love for each other it should be more than words.
I think that anyone can come up to you and say something that makes you think they like you. I would be more impressed if someone did something special for me that is out of the ordinary to show how much they care. Words can still be very powerful and are very important in a relationship for communicating purposes and things. I have seen people get swept away with both words and actions in my life, but I think if you want to make a real impression you would give something or do something the person would never forget. In Romeo and Juliet’s case I think the act of getting married is a big step in showing their love. They are not just saying how much they love the other, but are showing it by making an everlasting commitment to each other.
When Romeo went to Friar Laurence to ask if he would help him marry Juliet, the Friar didn’t think it was a good idea. However, it didn’t take him long to change his mind. Before the Friar married Romeo and Juliet, he told Romeo to love moderately and make their marriage last. I think the Friar said this so that he wouldn’t feel responsible for marrying two teenagers that weren’t ready to have a lasting relationship.
A part of me thinks that what the Friar did was wrong but part of me thinks it was right. The friar had a hard decision to make when deciding what he should do because if he didn’t marry Romeo and Juliet, they wouldn’t be happy, and if he did, the feud between their families could have come to an end.
I believe to an extent that adults have an obligation to act maturely on behalf of those who are less mature, but I also think that adults need to let teenagers like Romeo and Juliet make their own decisions, which is what the Friar did. If I was in the Friars shoes, I think I probably would have married Romeo and Juliet because it was what they truly wanted.
Re: Molly McWilliams
Molly, I really like how you tied in this idea to today's society with your thought of domestic violence. I agree with you, and I think domestic violence is a very real problem in today's world. All around the world, we see examples of where people believe they are in love (and say so as well), but don't do anything to back it up, and then get into fights, causing the violence. I think that Juliet is right to be cautious of Romeo's romantic preaching.
Just as faith without works is dead, so is love without a constant supply of physical effort. While Romeo’s words may be witty, beautiful and full of meaning, these words are devoid of love without some physical aspect, such as lending a shoulder to lean on. Romeo’s words may be compared to a water bottle. If this bottle is empty, it gives its owner little benefit. However, if one was to only have the water contained within the bottle and not the bottle itself, the water would seep from ones hands only to soak into the soil and be lost forever. So it is with love. If you show that you love someone by caring for him or her and always being there in times of trial, but you lack the habit of telling that person how much they mean to you, your relationship with that person will remain unsound and unstable. It requires a tedious equilibrium between words and actions to employ the best love possible.
I feel that the older one becomes, the better one understands this concept of love. Teenagers and young adults tend to deliver a plethora of words to their significant other, while refraining from showing the true passion and conviction of their declarations. At an older age, however, a person makes the alteration between voiced and corporeal actions of love, and begins to show his or her love by acts of kindness.
I feel that what Juliet means is that she knows Romeo can say sweet things to her but he has not actually shown her how he feels. From the moment Romeo sees Juliet until this point he is continuously saying things about her, but has not done much to show her. In most movies people do cute things for the ones that they are in love with to show them that they care about them. In the movies this always seems to work, but Romeo has not done this yet. He talks of how gorgeous she is and how he finally knows what love is. Juliet is not satisfied with all the talk and she wants him to prove that he really does lover her. I’m not sure if Juliet is not certain if Romeo truly loves her but she really wants him to prove to her that he does. I believe that Juliet really does want Romeo to show her that he does love her, not just how she looks.
What do you think of when you see this right here? What about this? These are just overdone examples of how far acts to show love go. Acts to show love have become so over the top today because of how much meaning the spouse wants to but behind their feelings and words. Recently in the world of proposing today there have been people that put marry me on hockey scoreboards, park benches, a classroom of children holding up signs, billboards, etc. People really have gone over the top with showing love not only through proposals but songs, gifts, and special little things that really show their feelings. The saying actions speak louder than words are really emphasized in that sense today. In the movie Mr. Deeds, starring Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder, the protagonist ends up having a dinner date on the floor of Madison Square Garden in New York City. The acts to show love happen everywhere and anywhere in the world.
In the case of Romeo and Juliet, she just wanted him to spice things up and make her really feel they belong together. They became married so quickly and only knew each other for such a short amount of time that she had no real time to be together and enjoy young love so to speak. Every girl likes to receive a gift or shown some act about a man's feelings rather than hear just saying words, but also just giving alone is not the best thing either and creating an equal balance of the two really allows love to prosper.
What Juliet means by this is that she does not want Romeo to spoil her with sweet talk. Love is better expressed with actions rather than words, and this generally applies to everything else as well. Everyone always says that actions speak louder than words. Juliet does not want to hear all of the things the Romeo wants to say to her, but instead she would rather him show her what he's feeling. By showing someone how you feel, and not saying it, it seems more real to the person that you are trying to express those feelings to. I know that whenever I talk to someone and they try to tell me how they feel about me or anything else, I'll tell them to prove it to me by what you do and not by what you say. Anyone can do magic with words to get you to believe what they want you to think, but it usually doesn't have much meaning behind it or seem valid without any actions to back it up.
Would you rather have someone tell you they love you and never be there for you or someone who is always with you each step of the way but doesn’t use words to express their love for you? Personally, I think that I would be pleased with neither of them. Romeo’s words may be sweet, capturing, and seducing but his words can’t compare to what love really means. It often seems so reflexive when people say, "I love you so and so" and then they hug each other and start crying of happiness and deep emotion is in the air. Suddenly, those emotions go away, and they argue or won’t help each other out, and they wonder what happened when this person said I love you? Did they really mean it? Love is found in action and doing, not in our feelings, words, and thoughts. When you are not giving of your time to helping your wife, children, husband, or friend, that’s when you fully aren’t feeling love. "Love without action is meaningless and action without love is irrelevant,” my mom always tells me. I think that love without action is no love at all. However, wouldn’t it be nice for someone to tell you they love you? To know everyday that your spouse still loves you no matter what and will always be there for you is a great feeling I bet. Everybody loves compliments and being told that someone loves them. It makes you feel special and greatly appreciated because words are so powerful. Words can change a person’s perspective on something in an instance. For this reason, I think that I would rather have a spouse who shows they love me through action, but who also takes the time to remind me often their feelings for me. Juliet proved a magnificent point. She basically said, “Romeo, I love you dearly, but your words don’t mean much. It’s your actions that I care most about. Show me you love me.” I can most definitely agree with her.
Re: Sarah Podufal’s comment:
I think you did a great job responding Sarah! I agree when you said that Juliet wants Romeo to reflect his love to her through his affection, not just his fancy talk. She doesn’t want her newlywed husband to just say sweet phrases to her. She wants him to show her he means it truly. Words can mean anything, even if you make them meaningful. Love is showing a person who you really care about them with day to day respect, when your words can’t express how much you care about this person, and how much you enjoy being around this person.
I agree with Sarah when she says this may be hard to believe because they just met, because it may seem like lust, but expressing love is another way to show love to someone. True love is more than words. It is having unconditional devotion to that special someone, being with that person through the rough times, and showing them you care.
You are more astounded if someone showed you love by getting you a present or being faithful to you, than saying oh by the way I love you. Words can still greatly affect you, like Sarah said. They still mean a lot because communication is everything. I believe you have to balance these elements to maintain a healthy relationship. You would never forget a person who did something out of the ordinary for you, than saying something you may hear often. Like Sarah explained, making a commitment is another way to show love. This is a big step and means a lot to a person.
Great Job Sarah!
Juliet simply wants a straight answer from Romeo. People talk and talk all the time without any real meaning, purpose, or intent; talk is cheap. Juliet seems to be telling Romeo that she is not fooled by his fancy and gilded language, and that instead of using his words he must truly show her that he loves and cares for her. Actions speak louder than words. It is very easy to say, “I love you”, to someone, but what meaning does it really hold if the feeling behind it is not true? While it is always nice to hear that you are loved and even well-liked, proving love through actions, such as marriage in the case of Romeo and Juliet, is a much greater force and display of love. Romeo has done a lot of talking, gushing, and romanticizing of his love for Juliet and yet does nothing to display his affection until Juliet steps in and hints towards their getting married. In many experience, there are many people that are just like Romeo. They might like someone and they talk and talk and talk about their feelings, but in the end they are actually too shy, have done too much talking, or actually do not like the person that they are talking so much about. It is very easy to end up in a relationship with someone by just using words, and today it is even easier by using technological forms of communication such as texting. Texting is a very impersonal form of communication and when it is the basis of a relationship, I believe that the relationship will inevitably not work out. Two people need to both talk in person and spend time together to truly display affection. In my opinion, this is what Romeo and Juliet need. They need more time together to talk and to get to know each other and to show each other that they love each other by their actions. Overall, Juliet only wants Romeo to prove his love instead of simply speaking about it.
I believe that Juliet says this to Romeo just because of a personality difference. Maybe Juliet is less romantic than him, but that doesn't mean she loves him any less. They have true love so they both know in their hearts that they love each other and there is no doubt. They may not need words to express this. I think that Romeo is doing whatever it takes to keep Juliet close; he is trying to impress her by words. Juliet knows this. They don't need words or even actions to tell how much they love each other. You can say I love you nine billion times but it wouldn't matter. You would have to show that love. Many times, people don't realize they love someone until the worst times in their lives, like a family death. If that person is there for you in a time like that you can really learn to love them. An example in the book is right now with Romeo banished. In times like this, their love will be reaffirmed.
Actions speak louder than words. Yes, it’s the basis of what everyone else has said in response to this prompt, and yes, it is very cliché. However, this is a very true statement, and I believe it is Juliet is trying to tell Romeo in Act II, Scene 6, when she says to him, “Conceit, more rich in matter than in words/ Brags of his substance, not of ornament.” She wants him to show that he loves her in more ways than just telling her how much he loves her. Not only is this Juliet’s opinion; it is mine and more or less everyone else’s who has responded to this question. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy a good compliment now and then as much as the next guy. But a nonstop onslaught of niceties and flattering remarks would certainly wear on one’s nerves, as is evident with Juliet in the play. She believes that Romeo should be doing more to back up what he is saying, and thus has gotten a little annoyed at her husband to be.
Sweet talking only gets you so far in a relationship. Eventually you reach that moment where you have to show that person that you want to commit with actions and sometimes sacrifices. You may have to compromise to show that you care for them. I’ve seen a few comedic romance movies where in the end one or both people in the relationship make a grand gesture to show their love for the other. In movies this always seems to be successful, however in real life I don’t think that it would work nearly as often. I think that by going against his family wishes Romeo showed Juliet that he was committed to be with her, and vice versa.
Love is something that can be expressed through actions but also through words. A person can say that they love someone, but words are just words until they mean what they say. The only way I can think of in my mind to prove you mean that you love a person, is to show them that you do. In my personal experiences, 15 year old boys do not know what true love is but it doesn’t stop them from telling a girl that they love them. In present times the word “love” is something that is thrown around and it doesn’t have the same meaning as it might have centuries ago. Juliet wants to hear the love he has for her, but she also wants to see it. Words only go so far in relationships, but the same thing goes for actions as well. You can’t build a relationship on a mere physical attraction, but once in a while you need to know that the person is being true by what they are saying. A person can say something but that doesn’t always prove that they mean what they are saying.
“Conceit, more rich in matter than in words,
Brags of his substance, not of ornament.”
-Juliet
Act II, scene 6
Love should be more than just words. Anyone can say "I love you. Your eyes are as bright as diamonds, they sparkle like the dew." But that does not necessarily mean that the person professing this love actually loves you. If you really love someone, then you will show them that through actions. Even if its just "young-love", such as a high school boyfriend or girlfriend, you should still show them you care through your actions and not just words. Even friends that aren't loved romantically still need to be shown love. For example, rather just just saying i love my friends, I show them too. Whether it be through helping friends and loved ones with homework, talking them through a difficult time in life, or just giving them a hug, everyone needs to be shown love. I easily say "I love you" to someone, but does it really mean anything unless i prove it? I don't really know much about love in the media, movies, or literature, because I don't watch TV, read magazines, or go anywhere on the computer except facebook. But nonetheless, it is what it is. If my best friend is falling off a cliff and I say "take my hand!" but do not offer them my hand, then they will fall. Love follows the same pattern. Fancy words do not mean anything unless they are proven as well.
Re: Sarah Podufal
I must agree with how Sarah had stated that Juliet wanted Romeo to do something to show her that he really loved her. In fact, I think it is safe to say that Juliet is the more mature one when it comes to relationships. You can say about anything to anyone and not necessarily mean it. But, if you do not have the actions to back up what is said, what you said means nothing. As it is said, actions speak louder than words. It takes more energy and effort to do something than it does to say something. However, in this time period, marriage is not always a lifelong commitment. In the time of Romeo and Juliet, marriage was a lifelong commitment. But their life span was shorter than ours.
Re: Nick’s Comment
I like the way that Nick answered this post. Actions have always spoken louder than words, and this is seen in all aspects of life, not just love. Saying I love you means nothing if you cannot back it up with your actions. If you really love someone, your actions will be so much more significant than any number of times you can say ‘I love you’. I don’t know Nick’s grandparents, but I think their story is the perfect example of how actions overpower words. If someone’s been married for 53 years, I think it must be evident by than that they are truly in love. If not, well words certainly still wouldn’t do the job of proving it.
When two people fall in love it is easy to equate true love with romantic words, but in reality gestures and actions are what prove affection. This is a problem I see affect a lot of teenagers; when one person uses flowery rhetoric to convince their significant other of their love, when really they are just stringing that person along. Anyone can profess love, but it takes heartfelt gestures to show they are being true. In my life, the most genuinely in love people I have ever met were my grandparents. They were married for 67 years, and only a death parted them. I don't know if I could honestly tell you that I heard my grandfather tell my grandmother that he loved her, but I do know how for a month she ranted about the dozen yellow roses he had gotten her, and the millions of little things they did for each other. Actions display the substance of someone's love. Sentimental words are called sweet nothings for the reason; without a basis of action, words mean nothing. Taking those steps toward proving real love shows that someone is serious, and ready to make a (hopefully) lifelong commitment. Relationships take work, which is why I think Juliet feels she needs to tell Romeo that right before their marriage.
Juliet means that actions are stronger than words, when dealing with love. She appreciates the loving words that Romeo expresses to her. However, Juliet longs for more than just these words. I think that Juliet feels Romeo’s dramatic language is a bit excessive and over used. Juliet wishes that Romeo would prove his love by caring for her, being a great friend, giving her advice, etc. She wants some kind of substance in the relationship. Juliet and Romeo decided to marry after just a short time of knowing each other. Romeo tends to tell Juliet about her beauty and how he never wants to leave her. Yet, Romeo doesn’t always back up these statements through his behavior towards Juliet. Even in the modern world, some men act similarly to Romeo. Guys will tell girls how much they love them all the time, but fail to physically show their love. Many girls in Juliet’s position wish their lovers would express themselves with actions like being there in tough times, being a good listener, and doing little things that show appreciation. Some people are better at doing so than others. When someone is constantly told they are loved, the word begins to lose its meaning. Since they just met, Juliet is wooed by Romeo’s language. However, eventually in their relationship; these words will deteriorate in significance if overused. To be fair, Romeo had very little time to show his love through action, but Juliet is simply saying what she will truly appreciate in the future of their relationship.
What do you think of when you see this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymkMnWoVzMw)? What about this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpojZ0COU3Y)? These are just overdone examples of how far acts to show love go. Acts to show love have become so over the top today because of how much meaning the spouse wants to but behind their feelings and words. Recently in the world of proposing today there have been people that put marry me on hockey scoreboards, park benches, a classroom of children holding up signs, billboards, etc. People really have gone over the top with showing love not only through proposals but songs, gifts, and special little things that really show their feelings. The saying actions speak louder than words are really emphasized in that sense today. In the movie Mr. Deeds, starring Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder, the protagonist ends up having a dinner date on the floor of Madison Square Garden in New York City. The acts to show love happen everywhere and anywhere in the world.
In the case of Romeo and Juliet, she just wanted him to spice things up and make her really feel they belong together. They became married so quickly and only knew each other for such a short amount of time that she had no real time to be together and enjoy young love so to speak. Every girl likes to receive a gift or shown some act about a man's feelings rather than hear just saying words, but also just giving alone is not the best thing either and creating an equal balance of the two really allows love to prosper.
(My original post had links that did not work when they were posted, so I included the URLs in here so everyone can watch them)
Post a Comment